Cast Off Chains and Dance

Father, we are broken and bound by corruptible flesh and daunting circumstances.  This morning as I offer the full of me to You I find that You alone are life’s true sustainable force.

You alone hold all things together.  You alone are constantly near to the brokenhearted.  And as my wife and I go through another season of hospitalization, You alone are enough for the heart that struggles and suffers.

Even as anger threatens to peel away my peace, even as frustration stirs my quietness, You alone are bringing me back to Your gentle, holy, comforting place.

You alone hold me together.  Hold me together now.

As I walk these halls and feel like so isolated by this new struggle, open my eyes to the countless ones around me who struggle and need hope.  Reawaken the joy in me that too easily sleeps through days like these.  Make me an instrument of Your glory (I laugh because that’s not a phrase I easily adopt!), so that I might clearly sound Your goodness and comfort and hope into other hurting souls.

Thank You that You have brought me from death to life in You.  Bring all good things to full recovery that this life may be lived with the knowledge that even the darkest moments are full of Your light.

Away with this dirge, and in with the happy songs.  Let them pour from me.  Let me not be content to sing the blues but instead, make my song sound like the very grace and mercy You’ve poured into me.

And all of this is to Your glory, my King.  Praise and honor to You forever!  You have made me proof that struggle does not have to plaster us to a filthy floor of sorrows.  You have lifted my mind and I am free to cast off chains and dance.

Wake Up, Fuzz Brain!

Wow, I sure need to pray for life this morning.  The fuzz in my brain is clogging my lint trap!  Father, I need a cool blast; there is much to do today and I don’t want to waste a single moment.

Clear my mind that I will think well, articulate well, respond well, plan well, dream well, study well and attend my duties well.

Clear my eyes that I won’t miss a thing you’re showing me.

Clear my schedule of any time waster that is conspiring its way onto today’s agenda.  Let’s make this day count!

Clear my heart of any passions that are distracting me from my greatest passion.

Clear my cache of any stale remnants of my past, of things forgiven, of things the enemy loves to use to distract me and bring me down.

Be at my center, Jesus.  Shake me, wake me and set me to the tasks that lie ahead.  Empower me in such a way that I may indeed do all things I do wholeheartedly, knowing they are for You.

Let it rise…  let Your glory surround this day, let Your glory inhabit this day.  This day is Yours, You made it, and I will celebrate its promise and hope.  Let it be so.

A Blessing Prayer for the Grieving

Father, I pray for those who grieve over lost loved ones this morning.  Not only am I thinking of those who’ve recently passed, but those who’ve been gone for months or even years, and the grieving continues.  I pray for those in the midst of loss today, trying desperately to say good goodbyes amidst the tears.

First, I thank You that you are NEAR to the brokenhearted.  I think about this every time I pray a funeral prayer; YOU ARE NEAR!  You have not forsaken or abandoned us.  Praise Your Name!  Be glorified, my precious Savior…  You are the Lord who is present and active.  

Then, I thank You for the blessings that came along with having our loved ones here with us.  We grieve, in part, out of a sense of loss of these.  So, I pray that You would renew us in the knowledge that they blessing do not escape us.  Further, open our eyes to the way we are participants in the blessings – going so far as to be the source of blessing into the lives of others.

I pray that in moments when we are mindful of our loss, that we would then be able to count it gain; give us a holy vision of our investments in Heaven!

Do not let sorrow overtake us. Rather, by the nourishment of Your fresh mercies falling each morning, bring the joy of life alive in us again.  May we spread that joy into those who will one day grieve us so that they will taste of Your goodness even if they are away from the table.

If there is anger, blame, bitterness or any other vile emotion present, soften them I pray.  As we cope with the reality of these fragile containers that house us here, may we be more pressed to see the eternity of the soul within.  Lead us away from the need to blame and into the desire to be a force of healing for all.

Let Your glory rise afresh in us today so that we may once again be reminded of our great hope in You.  Let faith be wrapped up in victories large and small.  Even as the years press on, and we hurt for our loss, remind us even more of Your promises.  Let Your glory rise in the hearts of people everywhere so that death can never claim victory, and that life may bloom with sweet fragrance wherever people are found.

Grief Song

In the sweetness and peacefulness of Your presence, Father, I still feel a profound burning from the hurt and loss going on around me.

One a relatively young man, one a man who lived a long life.  Two different families, two very different hurts.

Father, grace me with the strength and heart to serve these families well through these days and beyond.

Give me the words to speak your heart into clouds of hurt.

Fill me with peace, to overflowing, so that peace streams into the empty river beds.

Fill me with grace, to overflowing, so that grace fills the empty places with Your Name.

Fill me with wisdom, the kind that comes free of the need of words, so that I might stand as a place of comfort for those in the storm.

Be with these aching families today so that tomorrow’s story might be of peace that defies explanation.

Thank You, glory to Your Name, First, Last, and all things in between.

Let Your glory rise.

Twist Cone (Struggle, Peace)

What a remarkable peace and contentment I find in You.  Once I peel away all the noise and distractions, I experience it even more convincingly.

I am so grateful for the ways You center me and bring focus and truth.  When I grapple for a hold, you provide a ledge to stand on.  When I struggle to make sense of things, You provide calm assurance even in the midst of mystery.

This is happiness, this is joy, this is the place You made for me.

What’s so amazing to me is that I find my way to these realizations so much easier these days.  Even in the midst of the twisting and turning and pressing and aching of life, there is You.  In You I find mercy, I find discernment, I gain wisdom, I am brushed by peace.

It almost seems like my life is like one of those soft-serve twist cones…  chocolate and vanilla clearly swirled yet uniquely identifiable.  As struggle courses through the veins of another day, there is also peace and joy right along beside it.  Each one eventually contributing to the flavor.  Could it be that the thing we most hate to admit is true – struggle and turmoil is just as essential to life as peace and contentment?

Whatever may be true about those things, I rest in Your goodness and rightness.  I sleep well completely in Your hold whether my body knows safety or threat.

Thank You for these blessed reassurances.  Thank You for Your peace that goes well beyond my ability to comprehend.  Thank You for the quietness of these times with You that I may be ready for the blinding noise ahead.

In all things, glory to You my King.  Let this be the surest thing today: that Your glory is on the rise, and it is rising in me as well.

An Exercise In Letting Go and Taking Hold

How can a first-thing-in-the-morning prayer be so tied up by a bundle of nervous energy?

I realize, in a brutally honest sort of way, as I’ve come here to pray I’ve failed to lay it all down.  I seem to be holding on to the very things that I believe have a hold on me.  Help me now to be fully invested in You, God, which means giving You everything.  I sense You don’t mind in the least bit if I cast all the negatives before You right along beside all the good words of praise.

I’ve heard and read so many commentaries about how we should and shouldn’t pray.  Still, I seem to come back to Your Word which reminds me to tell you what I want, then give praise for who You are.  Why do I stumble so much on this thinking that it’s un-spiritual (or some similar thing) to be gritty honest in all that I lay out before You.  Even if I’m struggling with a want that’s not good for me, why not just lay it out before You and allow You to speak into it?  Even if I’m struggling with things that others tell me I should be well past by now in my journey, why I can’t I trust You with them anyway?  Why do I think these very advisors are being all that honest with themselves about things they’re not past yet, either?!

So here it is –

All of today’s worries, I lay them down.  The work that lies before me is Yours anyway, so why worry, right?

All of these health issues, mine and my wife’s, I lay them down.  I’ve learned well that this is a topic where there is much disagreement among us frail people.  I’m not going to concern myself today with the words of man on this healing matter.  It’s You alone that is my concern and my passion.  Here is all the garbage – all the stuff – I lay it all down.

All of the rabbit trails and diversions and distractions and complications – all of ’em – I lay them down.  I so thoroughly want to commit them all to You that even their dust cannot be found on my hands.

All of the negative baloney that the enemy would have me believe – I lay it all down.  Tired of that liar having such domination of my attention span.  I want You alone, my Lord.  I listen for You.

And that’s probably just the segue I need to transition from journaling to listening and worship.  So thanks for helping me get focused today – and let Your glory rise, my King!  Yes, let it rise in me today!

Crawling Out of the Ooze

Good morning, Father.

On a day like this when my prayers don’t feel so holy or right, and my desire to worship is getting lost in the haze of sleepiness, I will decide nonetheless to lay it all down to You.

I lay down my restlessness and my darting thoughts.  What would You like to do with these?

I lay down my hazy thoughts and sluggish ways.  What will they find in You?

I lay down my heavy heart, my regrets that seem to be sharp and focused even when nothing else is (!).  Remind me of who I am.  Remind me of whose I am!  Yes Lord!

I lay down my wilted words and withering prose to simply listen and heed and obey.  I am waiting, Lord, make plain Your ways and wonders.

All to You…  as much “all” as I can muster in this moment… I surrender, I lay down to You.

Here in this surrender, in this giving-over of my warring emotions, I find You!  Tenderhearted and patient and faithful and ready…  what a remarkable God You are.

Here in my failure I find all that I need for my day.  I find my need to be circumspect washed away in the wonderful tide of Your all-providing grace and fresh mercy.

I am reminded of the broken bonds of sin – I am not held in the sway of the enemy.  I am reminded of freedom.  I am reminded of purpose.  I am reminded of the vision You have long set into my eyes.

And with that, I am refreshed.  I find my strength.  Actually, I think it’s that I’ve found YOUR strength in me!  And I say, “Glory, glory, glory, Lord God of all.  Heaven and earth obey Your words and move with Your whisper.”

If that’s so, and I believe it is, then I can rise up too.  Let Your glory rise in me, let it rise all around me, let it rise in this community today.  I am grateful to You, my King.

Ugh.

Ugh.

A groan before the waking.  Lord, as I put my prayer thoughts into the words of this journal, I realize I don’t always have enough words.  I don’t always have the right way of expressing myself, and frankly sometimes there is such a cacophony of words in my mind I don’t know where to start.  So today, I start with “ugh”.

I like the listening part of this prayer – at times it seems so much easier than the journaling.  There, I can just listen and soak in Your words and pour it all into worship.

Here, I confront the part of me that needs expression.  You instruct us to tell You what we need, then lift words of praise.  That seems to be evident in the Psalms as well.  But today, even though the praise is no struggle, the grabbing hold of what I need is vexing at best.  Ugh.

So I lift up hands to You.  I lay my pride bare before You.  I confess the sadness that has enveloped my heart in these days missing my grandkids.  I think about how I may have spoken one sentence too much on occasion recently.  I realize the innocent error that I made, with intent to welcome, but ended up making an error that I hope you masked in the ears of the one I was talking to!  Ugh.

These “ugh” prayers have such importance because I know that the enemy wants me to live in the disaster zone and forsake moving along with You.  So I pour out the ugh, I wait for Your counsel, and I choose to move on with You.  Let’s walk.

Glory to You, all glory my King.  You alone are what my heart longs for; You alone are satisfaction when I hunger and thirst for better, deeper, stronger things.  Your words are my instructions.  Your whispers are my relief.  Your Spirit is my strength.  Your movements are greater and better than my haphazard twitches!

Beginning and End, Lamb of God, precious Savior, Lord and friend.  Father, I love You.  Let Your glory rise in me, let it rise in this community, let it rise across this earth.  May Your glory be made known to all.

Make me a blessing to others today.

Out Of the Deepest Lows, Into the Unique High

As I struggle to bring my focus to You, my Lord, I also am struggling with the conversation that has been created nationally by a high-profile suicide, and within my ministry community by a suicide of a quiet man whose name most will never know.

There are so many things I don’t understand about depression; so many things I don’t understand about my own struggles with it.  But I do understand that You are a mighty, wonderful, grace-filled, mercy-giving God.  I do know that I’ve found such incredible, life-breathing, soul-lifting joy in You.

My mind seems to be on a gravel road, rather than an expressway, this morning!  But this bumpy ride is causing me to grapple with the deep issues of this earth-walk I am on.  I think about all the highs we use to bring us separation from the lows.  There are plenty of unnatural ways of temporarily elevating our brains.  In the end, I find You are the only way that sustains.  You are the supernatural giver of a unique and total peace.  You are the quieter of my soul, the strengthener of my bones, the everlasting faithful friend I desire.

Even on this great, high journey with You, I struggle.  My body rebels, my peace wanes, my mercy-quotient plummets and my get-up-and-go gets up and goes.  Still, out of my deepest lows, I find the only worthy high place in You.

You are the very reason I can differentiate between what is good and what isn’t!

So help me today to minister this remarkable hope, this unique high, to my community.  Though I don’t spend every day on the mountain top, I do have the steady reminder that I am walking with you even through death valley.  Ignite my words with the fire of Your Spirit.  Fan the flames with the winds of Your Spirit.  Fuel the flames with the oil of Your Spirit.  Let it flow, let it go, let it rise…

Yes!  Let Your glory rise today.  Let it rise in me…  let it call my community to the places of clearer understanding and grace and peace!  Oh God, let it be so today.

In Those Psalm 23 Kind of Moments

Great stuff…  being here in this quiet place…  overwhelming to my soul.  It’s beyond all things, this thing You invite me into.  My heart is full of joy in Your presence, Lord.

My heart is full of joy knowing Your presence fills all things, all moments, always faithful, always ready.

Even the silent moments, those where I long for Your words in my heart, they only keep me brimming with anticipation for when You do come in all Your manifest glory.

So here I am on the eve of an event that can be fraught with difficulty; a tragic death in our congregation that has left questions unanswerable.  Give me Your words, Your wisdom, Your discernment, Your ways.  Fill me to overflowing with a fresh sense of Your love, Your tenderhearted kindness and Your peace.  I know that You are near to the brokenhearted.  I know that You do not crush us.  I know that Your love doesn’t always show up in the ways we might demand in our pain, but instead, becomes gracefully known through the presence of those who serve You.  Make me THAT kind of ambassador for You in these days.  Yes!  Let it be so!

I am simply grateful to serve.  I am glad to be right where You led me.  I find it pleasing to serve You in any way knowing that Your Spirit is tending my way.  Words indescribable!  Hope overflowing!  You are great, You are worthy of more praise than I can muster.

In these days bring Your hope, Your help, Your healing.  Bring wellness to our souls and strength to our bones.  Be our guide, great Jehovah!

What a blessing it is to trust in You and to know the real, identifiable ways You make Your glory known.  Let it rise among us again today.  Show us Your way.