Father, today seems like the day to freshly figure out my surrender.
My whole being is welling up with the desire to be more/better given over to You. I’m sensing the need to up the ante a bit (pardon the crude comparison!) when it comes to my walk with You.
Somedays I just wake up and realize I haven’t come close to enough… I’m just not surrendered enough.
Even laying myself down at Your altar as a living sacrifice seems a bit disingenuous when I realize there are parts of my heart still reserved for me alone. I want You sitting at my table, not merely standing in the foyer.
Take this pride – it has never served me well. I understand that humility to You has never equalled humiliation. I surrender my pride for Your better way.
Take this stubbornness – I’d like to blame this attribute on my dad, but in all honesty, I’ve earned its disgrace for myself by now. It’s right that I stop seeing this as some sort of “family trait” joke and learn to surrender it to You afresh even now. Enough is enough.
Take this lack of prayerfulness – I want more of You. The more I learn to pray, the more I realize I want to be closer still.
Take this lack of knowledge of Your Word – I want to know more of You and the purposes of my story. After years of searching and learning Your Word, I’ve realized there are not enough years to properly soak it in. I want more!
Take this lack of concern – my what a painful thing to admit. Just when I begin to think I do well at loving people, I find someone that I am not showing adequate mercy, grace or love. I want my heart to burn for the lost as well as the follower. Light the fires of my compassions so that I may love people more.
All this things, such painful things to contemplate. But my Father, I want You alone at the head of my table. Come in, come in, come in…
Glory Rising 