Worthless?

(Today I read John 3.)

Father, Father…  that You would become greater and greater, and I would become less and less!  Father, thank You that You don’t smash me under Your thumb (like You could, if You wanted), but You show me the way to true life and joy and peace through getting over myself and my stupid, death-inviting ways, and allowing You more and more place in my life.  Take more now.  Be greater in me now.  Find a place that I’ve held back and show it to me now that I may give it to You.  All for You, Jesus, all for You.

I’ve never regretted giving You more.  It’s when I’ve held back that regrets have metastasized.  I sense that these recent days have been in the flow of drifting aimlessly rather than purposely setting course towards Nineveh.  Lord, I am here ready to be redirected, to hear and obey!  Swallow this Fish up and urp me on the shore where I need to be today.  Strengthen me, give me Your wise discernment, help me in my step of faith that passion may grow.  Thank You for the release, the joy, the relief, the rightness, the peace, the “rest” that comes in following after You…  even though it may create some restlessness in the process!

I’m thinking a lot of the picture of Samson I got from watching the Bible miniseries on TV again last night.  What another stunning example of weakness and strength – our weakness, and the strength You build in us.  Father, I know that You did not make me a physically strong man like Samson, but You are showing me an inner strength I never knew I had.  I used to think my life would be swallowed up by depression and feelings of worthlessness.  I thought I needed to accept that I was not a strong leader of men or as charismatic as some leaders.  I bought into the idea that I lacked what I needed to do the work You called me to.  It all led me to lean heavily on You – but what I didn’t reckon was how You would build me stronger the more I learned to walk with You.  These morning prayer times have been a phenomenal work-out session for me in building strength.  You have given me a godly confidence and faith that I never thought possible.  And I’m learning that even as I grow in expectation for what You can do in me, You continue to instruct me with Your ability to do far more than I’d thought possible.

Bless Your Name, my Lord, my Savior, my friend!  My God – God of Abraham and Isaac – God of great women and men through the ages – You are mine, and I long to be fully Yours!  I understand that these aren’t merely words being entered with keystrokes; even now Your Spirit is helping me to pray bigger than I could have imagined!  Do that for the one reading this as well – give them bigger prayers for themselves than they’d ever dared to pray before!  Raise us up together to be a mighty generation in Your Name!  As we partner with the testimony of the ages, hand in hand with Samson and David and Paul and Peter, let us arise despite weakness and allow You Lordship of all we do!  Make us light in a sin-darkened world.  Let Your Glory rise in us!  May it be so today, in Your Name Jesus – yes, let it be so!